I am standing at a fork in the road. On one side is a small hill, easily crossed with an attendant standing to help me if I trip, on the other is a mountain, treacherous and frightening that I must climb all on my own. I can invite people to cheer me on but that's abut it. I stand at the fork and i start to follow my gut up the steepest part of the mountain when my head and my hunger take over and lead me to the hill. I take the first step, knowing that I can turn back. It's light up here and easy but I keep looking over at the mountain, wishing I was there. i take a step back. I just back off the hill. I'm back at the fork. I walk to the base of the mountain and I'm happy. I;m hungry and I;m dirty but I'm happy. I look at the hill now as safety. The guide comes and takes my hand and leads me off the mountain. He walks me briskly up the hill telling me not to look back. He reminds me that on my way up the mountain I could slip and fall. He reminds me that I don't know what's on the other side or how long, if ever, it will take me to get there. I start crying. Tears falling. i want the mountain. He shakes his head, it's too late. I am on the conveyor belt and there's nowhere to go but forward. I think, "I'd rather have died trying to climb the mountain." And then I'm distracted by the guilded lilies he throws in my face.